Designing a Wedding Dress
Jess’s Account of Designing a Custom Wedding Dress
I didn’t choose to design a wedding dress, it chose me. Or at least, that’s the story I’m sticking to.
There were two things against me:
- I didn’t like the style of dresses at the time I was looking.
- I went into it already with an idea of what style I wanted, and I knew I wasn’t going to find it in a store.
Not really a combination of things which will culminate in the typical wedding experience of going out shopping with friends, “saying yes to the dress,” and leaving with the gorgeous gown in a nice, clean, ideally efficient, fell swoop.
I had two things going for me:
- I had plenty of time to design one and wait for it to be made (being engaged for four years will do that).
- I wanted to design it. I didn’t have the sewing experience to take it on myself, but I have always enjoyed anything creative, and having never designing any clothing before I figured now was the chance. I certainly ended up having a lot of fun during the design process.
Who would sew it?
I started by sending out several inquiries to different places I’d found which do custom dresses. I put together a document with several photos of dresses I liked, and tried to describe some of my ideas in writing which weren’t easily found in photos I could scrounge up from the depths of the internet.
Admittedly, I was secretly (ok, not secretly) hoping for this one place called Northwic Alternative Bridal to prove the best choice. I’d come across this shop by way of the same website we discovered our ringmaking workshop on back in 2016 and it had stuck with me ever since. Shop-owner Amy was quite obviously a talented seamstress, and specialized in creating dresses which were each unique pieces of art in their own right. However, she was located in New Zealand. She has plenty of clients she makes dresses for whom she never actually meets in person, a seamstressing feat in itself I will let you ponder for a moment (how does one sew a custom dress for a body they will never physically be able to fit and measure to)? Each of these client’s accounts positively assured this distance was never an issue and their garments always turned out perfect. I felt half-convinced, but I did my due diligence by inquiring with others who were at least in the same country as me.
I received quite a diaspora of reactions. One person thought my budget was totally unreasonable. I’d been expecting at least one response along those lines (if not all of them). Two people informed me that my ideas weren’t even possible, the structure of the dress itself couldn’t physically be made because I had two different conflicting ideas. One of them was not so nice about it, the other one was nice but didn’t give any suggestions about how I might fix or compromise this discrepancy of design. Perhaps the funniest one, I received a voicemail from an experienced (seasoned) seamstress, stating that she couldn’t understand why any of the, “gorgeous gowns already available weren’t to my liking?” And if there were any that were at least close, she could possibly alter it slightly to my liking, but she saw no reason why a complete new gown needed to be designed from the ground up. “If everyone did that, no one would ever get married.” I concluded perhaps I added her name erroneously to my potential custom gown makers list, and politely moved on.
With all this hubbub, I figured I should not expect anything different from Northwic, but then to my surprise and excitement, Amy wrote back to me and didn’t react at all like any of the others. She reviewed my document, thought it was perfectly doable and any conflicting ideas I had she understood were part of “the drawing board” and could be fleshed out. She acknowledged my budget and explained that she would try to remain within it, but her design process would be candid such that I would understand the whole way where we were making adjustments to stay in budget as necessary (material types, for instance). We set up a phone call so that we could hear each other speak, since we wouldn’t get to meet in person, and I remember asking her all the questions I could think of to make sure I wasn’t getting into something nefarious. Earlier that day a local bridal shop had told me a horror story about a custom gown some poor woman had brought in, sewn completely wrong without any of the necessary boning and structure required for a real dress, and practically with scrap material. They had shown me the dress in person and truthfully, it was terrible.
Happily, that was not Amy, and I had been following her work for a couple of years by this time. After speaking with her on the phone, it sealed the deal.
Conceptualizing an Amalgam of Ideas
She got to work quickly, sending a concept sketch based on my document of ideas, and I knew right away I’d made the right choice in choosing her!
In parallel with concept sketches, Amy sent me on a quest to obtain several measurements so she could start sewing an accurate mockup. This mission took us back to our local bridal shop, where Ryan patiently waited in the car. At one point, one of the workers came up and excitedly beckoned me over, declaring he had, “Never seen such a perfect illustration of the couple’s experience of wedding dress shopping!” Taking me over to the window he asked, “Is that your fiancé?” And there was Ryan, sitting in the car with his head completely back against the headrest, completely sound asleep, mouth agape (he denies this part). Sadly, he woke up just as I tried to snap a photo… alas, it’s a fun memory we both laugh about now!
Dimensions sent to Amy, she sewed the first mock-up of my dress and sent it in the mail. All the way from New Zealand it trekked, and it was incredible how accurate it fit even on the first try! At this point, I decided to drop the long sleeves because we were planning a summer wedding in the states. We did a couple modifications to improve the fit over email with the assistance of photos, and then she sent a second mock-up.
A Change in Plans
Then our wedding plans changed (see A Plan to Elope in Iceland Hatches). The long sleeves were back on the table, and we had several new design ideas to fit the occasion of Iceland. Some of the ideas stemmed from me, some from Amy. This is perhaps the point at which I most enjoyed the whole process, because I could start to see the personality of the dress emerging. Amy and I were also collaborating rather fluently, and I thoroughly enjoyed working with her! I can honestly say I feel I came away from this experience with a friend.
Our new design concept tried to give it a more “ancient” feel, and we’d also sprung upon the idea of using both white and bronze colored lace.
While Amy sewed a third mock-up, I chose the laces and underskirt material, and then started looking for some accessories… mainly boots! And then COVID happened.
We put things on pause for a while to see what the situation might bring. Gradually we started back up, and after a Zoom call for some final fitting issues, we deemed that a fourth and final mock-up was necessary. Amy finished it quickly, but since post offices were shut down in both our countries, it wasn’t until nearly two months later that I received it! Fortunately, we used the time to hunt for materials and she was able to order everything so by the time the last mock-up arrived in my hands, she had most of the materials in her shop.
The mock-up fit well, and she began to sew the dress itself, sending me periodic photos. I could hardly contain my excitement, especially since we’d had to postpone our wedding an entire year, and seeing photos of the dress coming together throughout that winter was a big help in keeping my spirits up. Unfortunately, Ryan did not get this luxury. Instead, he had to listen to my excited exclamations now and again, knowing what they were about but never getting to see the details! We were now into year number two of him carefully avoiding looking at either my phone or my computer screen just in case a photo popped up!
The completed Dress
Here are some photos Amy sent upon completing the dress. I would just like to point out that all the lace was handsewn. Consider this, and then look at that cape and all its cutouts. Amy, if you are reading this, you are seriously skilled and I cannot ever begin to thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for making such a work of art which I was fortunate to get to wear on the day of my wedding, and I hope you are not still seeing bronze lace in your sleep!
After receiving these photos, I was more than a little ready to jump on a plane to Iceland and just meet it there! To contain my excitement a bit, I started making my own hair vine. It helped… a slight bit. :/
The dress arrived in the mail in a couple of weeks, since thankfully shipping wait times had improved substantially by this time. There was talk of a vaccine release soon! Amy sewed everything so that minimal tweaking would be necessary, and she was spot on. A trip to my closest local seamstress was able to polish things off nicely, and then it was all ready!
Can you believe we packed it away in a suitcase and put it on an airplane? This dress is quite literally a world traveler now. From New Zealand, to both Montana and Washington states, and finally all over Iceland and back!
Our First Look
It was well worth it, though, and all of that hard work designing it, and the extra waiting due to COVID, built up an anticipation which lent our first look a little extra magic.
